The camera pans from a dreamy sunset in Santorini, Greece to the host, Nikki Glaser.

 

Nikki Glaser: Hi, everyone! We last left off with the boys announcing with who they’ll be having their recorded first dates! We also found out that Athena turned two guys into swine, but since she is rich and powerful, we’ll temporarily put a pin in that! Although, the only remaining producer says that Michael might have to face consequences about the punch.

 

Michael is in the confession room.

 

Michael (visibly worried): I mean, yeah, violence is never the answer, but I just want to apologize –

 

The producer nods and tells Michael he can stay if he apologizes to Andrew Hate, the hog.

 

Michael (furrows his brows): What? No, not him. I want to apologize to Diana! I feel like maybe she hates me now.

 

Athena is in the confession room.

 

Athena (getting visibly angry): Wait, wait a minute. You want Michael to apologize??!!

 

The producer lets out a squeak of fear.

 

Athena (calms down): Oh, he said no? He really is perfect, isn’t he?

 

The cameraman lets her watch the rest of his confessional.

 

Athena: Wait a minute. They’re not talking right now. I could use this.

 

Diana is in the confession room.

 

Diana (tearing up): He’s a really sweet guy. I just want to clear up this misunderstanding! It’s true that I don’t know him that well, but I know him better than the other guys here, and Michael is truly trustworthy. I just need to talk to him and clear this all up.

 

Some contestants are playing ping pong; others are watching T.V.; Eros is out teaching some guys how to do archery; Athena is with both Aphrodite and Diana.

 

Diana: I think I’m going to ask Michael if we can go talk for a minute.

 

Aphrodite (excitedly): Awww!! So cute! I’ve always wanted to be a part of The Bachelor!!

 

Athena (interjects): Aphrodite, this isn’t The Bachelor! Also, I think it’s best for you two to give each other some space, Diana. Right, Aphrodite?

 

Aphrodite (puzzled): I mean, time has passed; plus Michael has had his eyes on Diana this whole time, but he only looks away when she looks at him! It’s so cute that it tugs my own heartstrings!

 

Diana: Really, you think so, Ro-ro?

 

Aphrodite nods and hugs Diana.

 

Athena: No, no, trust me, Diana. Love is a battlefield!

 

They both stare at Athena confused and then burst into laughter.

 

Aphrodite (wipes a tear): I didn’t know that you like Pat Benatar’s music!! We could’ve gone to her concerts!

 

Athena (puzzled): Who? Listen, Diana, I might not know a lot about love, but I do know about war, and I am a bit of a war tactical goddess, so…

 

Diana: I think Aphrodite is right. I should talk it out with him before we go to sleep.

 

Athena: Wait, I just remembered! Aphrodite has always wanted to have a ladies’ sleepover!

 

Aphrodite: I have?

 

Athena elbows Aphrodite, who elbows Athena back.

 

Athena: Well, centuries do affect our memory, but you’re lucky that I remembered Aphrodite! Yes, we should! Plus we can ask this mortal about modern times!

 

Nikki Glaser pops up next to them; Aphrodite hiccups of fear.

 

Nikki Glaser (cheerfully): Cool! I mean we’re adults, but this sounds like fun!! (yells) Boys, we’ll be having a girls’ sleepover; so, you guys either stay up hanging out or go to your rooms to sleep! Either way, don’t bother us!

 

The girls are having their sleepover. Athena quickly goes to her bed and pretends to be asleep.

 

Aphrodite: Oof, I don’t even get why the host would just go to sleep then!

 

Diana: It’s okay, Aphrodite! I know that it’s been a long day!

 

Nikki Glaser: So true, girls! By the way, Aphrodite, I always wanted to ask was Adonis really that hot?

 

Aphrodite blushes for the first time, and the two girls ‘Awwww’ in unison; Athena rolls her eyes.

 

Aphrodite (sighs): Yeah, he was one of a kind in looks, but it wasn’t just his looks, you know?

 

The two inch closer like children hearing a fairytale.

 

Aphrodite (cont’d): It’s just – well, he had this way of making you feel seen, you know? Adonis always smiled and never felt superior just because he was a guy, unlike Ares. Don’t tell my son that I’m judging his father.

 

The two girls pantomime zipping their lips.

 

Nikki Glaser: Don’t worry! But, why didn’t you two end up together?

 

Aphrodite (clears her throat): Right, of course! My friend, Persephone, was also into Adonis; I wanted to be with him, but I also feared his mortality. So, I wanted him to choose; he chose to marry a beautiful mortal and had a loving family.

 

The two girls start crying, and Aphrodite consoles them.

 

Aphrodite (chuckles to mask the pain): There, there! It’s okay! Well, now that that’s settled; Diana, I have so many questions!

 

Diana looks ahead nervously after wiping her tears.

 

Aphrodite (cont’d): So, where was your first kiss with Michael? We never got to see the footage.

 

Athena pops up her head and stares at Diana; the girls all laugh at Athena, who blushes slightly and gets slightly irritated.

 

Athena: You’re all too noisy! I can’t sleep!

 

Diana: Well, the thing is, it’s like –

 

The footage cuts to Michael, Gabriel, Eros, and Santiago.

 

Gabriel: So, Michael, are you two official? I mean you’re definitely a couple, right?

 

Michael: No! I mean I want to, but I don’t want to make it official while we’re on this show, you know? I mean we still haven’t even kissed yet.

 

Eros: What??!! Why?! Because you’re still looking for someone better or not looking to be in a relationship?

 

Michael (shakes his head): No, that’s not it. I just want Diana to know that I’m serious about us, and she doesn’t have to worry about if I am or not an F-Boy.

 

Santiago (points at Michael): Yeah, but we know you’re not one of them, bud!

 

Gabriel (puts his arm around each guy): Yeah, you two are some great guys! Luckily, we aren’t in love with the same girl!

 

Eros: Wait, Gabriel, you like Athena, no?

 

Gabriel blushes cutely and looks at the floor.

 

Gabriel: Is it that obvious?

 

Michael: Dude, you should’ve told me! I would’ve helped you out!

 

Gabriel: That’s why you’re my best friend!

 

Santiago: Dude?!

 

All three guys laugh and console each other; Eros just stares and then furrows his brows.

 

Eros: Wait a minute. Then Santiago, you like –

 

Santiago (nods): Yup, I might be your future stepfather! Don’t worry Eros, I promise to be a cool dad, okay? I won’t be like the other dads.

 

Eros is in the confession room.

 

Eros: Yeah, I don’t know about that. The list of suitors who want to marry my mom is way too long for me to care.

 

BLACKOUT.