​EXT. OUTDOOR RESTAURANT SEATING. DAY-BRUNCH.

​

DAVID
Hey, Jeff! Over here!

​

Jeff, a man in his early 30s, walks over to the table that David is seated at.

​

JEFF
Hey, thanks again for making time,

buddy!

​

DAVID
Dude, anytime! I'm so stoked for your bachelor party! Tulum, here we come! Hey, I thought your best man and lil' bro was coming with you.

​

Jeff looks uneasy and looks around at their surroundings.

 

JEFF
Yeah, Jake is coming, but I have to warn you, he isn't the same since this past weekend.

 

DAVID

(Chuckles)

Bro, I forgot! Congrats on the new lil' niece! Your sister must be happy.

 

JEFF

(Serious)

Thanks - But, seriously, Jake hasn't been the same after spending some time with them; he says that, unlike his girlfriend, he didn't get baby fever, but there's something you should know -

 

Jake, a man in his late 20's, arrives.

 

JAKE
(Speaking in Baby Talk)

Hey, dere widdle buddies! How awe we feewing today?

 

David looks at both brothers confused.

 

JEFF

(Sighs)

Yeah, the doctors say it's a case of neonate-phasia, or baby-speech.

​

JAKE
(Pinches Jeff's cheek
lightly)
Awww, does de widdle guy need something?

DAVID
Okay, guys, really funny!
 

JAKE
(Pretends to have David's
nose)
Hey, dere widdle guy! I got your nose! I got your nose!
 

DAVID
(Grabs his own nose)
What? Are you serious?
 

JEFF
Yeah, doctors don't know how long
he'll spend talking like this.
 

DAVID
But, Tulum! We were going to rent an Airbnb, go clubbing, and get wasted!!
 

JEFF
Dude, not too loud. There's also the fact that Jake is my Best Man. What if he does the speech in neonate-phasia?? Cindy will hate me and ask for a divorce immediately!

 

The waiter stops by.
 

WAITER

Ready to order?

DAVID

I'll take a mimosa.

(Everyone stares at David.)

What?? When in Rome, do as the Romans.

WAITER

And for you both?
 

JEFF

I'll take the same.

​

JAKE
What do you weccomend, widdle buddy?

WAITER
Ummm, well, I guess I'd have the new Twix milkshake.
 

JAKE
Den let's get dat!
 

The waiter leaves.
 

JAKE (CONT'D)
So, what's new in the wife of widdle Davey, huh?
 

DAVID
What's new in my life? Listen, Jake, I don't know you for as long as I've known your brother, but can you please, not call me little. It's a trigger word for me.
 

JEFF
David, we've already been through this, bud. Five feet eleven inches is a great height, buddy.
 

JAKE
Wow! Dat's impwessive, lil buddy!
 

David gets agitated, and Jeff tries to comfort him.
 

JEFF
Jake, please, you need to drop the adjectives.

JAKE

(Sadly)
I'm sowwy.

DAVID

(sighs)
I'm sorry, too, dude. I guess I just always thought that I'd be in the same height range as my father and cousins, and when I didn't reach the six feet mark, I felt so small.
 

JEFF
(Places his hand on
David's shoulder)

Bud, we've always been proud of you. I'm sure your family feels the same way. So, what if you don't need to bend at the knees to enter the room like them? You're still a great guy!

JAKE
Yeah! And, it's true that we don't know each other that well, but from what my big brother has mentioned, you're a role model to look up to for anyone, David!

David and Jeff look at each other amazed and surprised!

JEFF
Jake, oh, thank God! You're back! Everything's going to go well!

DAVID
(Cheerfully celebrating)
Yes!!! Tulum and ladies look out! The boys are back.

 

Both David and Jeff high-five. The waiter arrives with the drinks.
 

WAITER
Here are your two mimosas, and who ordered the milkshake?

JAKE
Dat would be me; wight here, widdle guy!

David and Jeff facepalm themselves; Jake gleefully sips his milkshake.

Blackout.

​

​

​

​