INT. A DREAMY, PINK AND LILAC TALK SHOW SPACE – DAY

 

Producer: Okay, we’ll be live in 5, 4, 3, 2, (mouths 1)

 

The camera shows the introduction logo, M & A Talk : The Pedestal. Then, the camera is set to watch both Medusa and Athena enter, and the camera has a soft, angelic filter on.

 

Medusa (stoically): Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone.

 

Half the room claps. Aphrodite winks, and the whole audience gets up and gives a standing ovation.

 

Aphrodite (smiling): It’s my favorite holiday, you guys!

 

Some audience members ‘ohhh’ and ‘awww,’ while some catcall, but the catcallers are later never heard from, just stones in their seats.

 

Medusa (shyly): Well, we’re new to this talk show.

 

Medusa in a large pink bow turns to face Aphrodite, who completes her sentence.

 

Aphrodite (confidently): But, we’ve been told that we have an audience who is interested in our opinions, advice, and knowledge; so, here we are!

 

Medusa (gaining confidence): Today’s talk show topic is called: The Pedestal.

 

The audience gasps and are then heard murmuring back and forth; Aphrodite reassures them.

 

Aphrodite: The topic is romantic, in a way. It was inspired by one of Medusa’s and my own favorite novels, The Picture of Dorian Grey.

 

Medusa (nodding): Today’s topic and guests reflect the dangers of love and infatuation. We’ve all had an opportunity to love someone, -

 

Aphrodite (completing the sentence): And, sometimes, unfortunately, the recipient of our love does not share a fraction of those same feelings. So, we’ll be trying to help the person see this.

 

Medusa: Let’s welcome our first infamous couple, Akaash Singh and his wife.

 

The audience wines in pain; some audibly go ‘oof.’ Jasleen comes out in a Miu Miu dress, and Akaash Singh is in a hoodie and jeans.

 

Akaash Singh (reassuring): Baby, no, don’t.

 

Jasleen (pissed): Wow, I have a name, and I’m not just his wife. I thought you both were feminists.

 

Aphrodite turns to face Medusa, who scoffs at Jasleen’s response.

 

Medusa: Bitch, we are feminists, but we hate trad wives who only quote feminism for their jaded and disrespectful actions.

 

Aphrodite (ignores Jasleen): Akaash, darling, do you know why you’re here.

 

Akaash Singh: Honestly, I was hoping this would have been left last year.

 

Medusa: And, we hoped you would’ve left her last year, too.

 

Aphrodite fist bumps Medusa.

 

Akaash Singh: You guys –

 

Medusa’s snakes hiss, and some lunge at Akaash, but Medusa stops them gently. The audience gasps.

 

Akaash Singh (correcting himself): You ladies (The snakes relax; he sighs.) need to understand, my baby was just joking. She’s so cute and just wants to show me how much she loves me by imitating my work.

 

Aphrodite (wincing): Darling, yeah, that’s not it.

 

Medusa (bluntly): Look, Akaash, someone who loves you won’t talk about having an orgy with her best friend’s husband, while also mentioning that you don’t do it for her sexually.

 

Akaash shrinks in his seat.

 

Jasleen: Is it my fault that I want someone like Christian Grey?! Right ladies?!!

 

Aphrodite (angered): Bitch, please! We were talking about Dorian Grey, you illiterate dumb-

 

Medusa consoles Aphrodite.

 

Medusa (shaking her head): Let’s bring out our other infamous, toxic couple, Kaitlyn and her dog food husband.

 

Kaitlyn is the only to walk out into the show.

 

Aphrodite (hopeful): Oh my God! Did you finally get the message and divorce that tiny di-

 

Kaitlyn (interrupts): No, my husband said he didn’t want to come on screen, and after hearing your response Aphrodite, I get why he didn’t.

 

Medusa (shaking her head): Oof, you’ve got it bad, too, huh?

 

Kaitlyn: My husband is fine, okay?!

 

Jasleen: Yeah, I’ve seen pictures of him, and he is fine. In fact he reminds me of one of my old roster college rotation white boys.

 

Akaash and Kaitlyn turn with horrified expressions to face Jasleen, who stares about like she just said the cutest thing ever. Medusa holds Aphrodite back.

 

Medusa: JASLEEN! Get out, for your own safety, leave, bitch.

 

Jasleen exits pissed off; the audience cheers and chants ‘Medusa!’

 

Aphrodite (recomposed): Thank you, Medusa. I don’t know what I would’ve done to that –

 

Akaash Singh (interrupting): You just don’t understand her; she’s –

 

Aphrodite (interrupts him): You’re right! I don’t understand her, and I’m grateful I can’t relate to a gold-digging trash piece.

 

Medusa snaps her fingers multiple times.

 

Medusa: That’s right. We don’t get her, but we do understand you both.

 

Kaitlyn: No, you don’t! Because you wouldn’t be rude to our spouses if you did.

 

Medusa (calmly): Listen up, buttercup. I have fallen in love multiple times, and sometimes I’ve fallen hard.

 

Aphrodite nods her head.

 

Medusa (continued): But, there were moments that raised red flags with my man of interest, and both Aphrodite and my cousin, Claire, were there to remind me of my worth and that the guy didn’t love me as I loved him.

 

Aphrodite: Likewise, Medusa has been there for me to protect me from my toxic ex, Ares.

 

Medusa and Aphrodite hug; the audience cheers, and some cry.

 

Medusa (gently): Both of you deserve someone who will love you like you love others. Don’t put someone blindly on a pedestal, because when they finally fall, you’ll be the shattered ones and have to pick up the pieces yourselves.

 

Akaash and Kaitlyn stare at each other confused.

 

Aphrodite: She means that, God forbid, but when something happens, like an illness or a medical emergency, you’ll see that they don’t give the same reciprocated love and care, as you would have.

 

Kaitlyn: Well, it doesn’t matter! You’re both just bitter and jealous!

 

Aphrodite and Medusa sigh, while Medusa’s snakes are on ready to hiss.

 

Akaash: She’s just so beautiful.

 

Aphrodite: And is that all? You’re handsome, too. Kaitlyn, you’re pretty, too. But in the end, your choice is yours and yours alone.

 

Akaash (getting up): Well, I don’t know about Kaitlyn, but I’m sticking with my woman.

 

Kaitlyn (also leaving): Same, I love my man.

 

They both are about to leave when the cameraman shows them the backstage footage of Jasleen making out with Kaitlyn’s husband. The audience screams in anger and horror; Akaash and Kaitlyn just stare at the screen.

 

Medusa: We didn’t want to, but Maury is an inspiration for our show, in a way.

 

Jasleen (notices the camera): It’s okay, Akaash and I are in a VERY open relationship!!

 

Akaash (sighs): I mean, she’s –

 

Kaitlyn: It doesn’t matter; I’m the one who is going to keep my man forever, night and day, anyway.

 

Both exit; Medusa and Aphrodite face the cameras.

 

Medusa: May an infatuation disguised as love like theirs never find you.

 

Aphrodite: And if it does, please remember to cherish yourself, first.

 

BLACKOUT.