A cloudy day outside a quaint house, a middle aged woman sits on her porch steps.

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MELISSA
I used to hate walking past mirrors, but after using Lemme GLP- 1 pills, I walk confidently past all my mirrors.

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A young lady holding multiple shopping bags looks at the camera.

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JEN
I used to fear aging, but thanks to Kourtney Kardashian, the Lemme GLP- 1 capsules have helped me fight off that fear.

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NARRATOR
Jen, the original GLP-1 is Glucagon-like peptide-1, or a synthetic hormone that regulates blood sugar, appetite, and digestion.
 

JEN
Oh! Then, it’s helped with that! Thanks, Kourt!

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NARRATOR
Do you have any insecurities? Want to change without changing your daily habits? Well, now, we have a solution. Even medical professionals agree with our natural results.

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A young woman in white coat sits with proper posture in a studio with a light purple background.

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EMILY
As a pharmacology scientist, I am glad to hear about the availability and low cost of the Lemme GLP-1 capsule supplements.

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NARRATOR
And, we are glad to provide this assistance. The product is purely natural and doesn't need a medical prescription.

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EMILY
Wait, which IRB-approved demographics were used to test this product? Hasn't this supplement had clinical trials? What about the FDA and CDC approvals?

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NARRATOR
Kourtney Kardashian can answer your questions, if necessary.

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The camera cuts to Kourtney Kardashian.

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KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN

(vocal fry)

Hiiii-, everyone! Lemme (giggles) tell you everything. At Lemme, we let you live, and choose your health first.

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NARRATOR
Did that answer your questions?

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EMILY
No, was this product FDA-approved, and did it undergo clinical trials?

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KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN
O M Gee- My doctor and I made this using lemon, saffron, and red orange. It's all natural, and it doesn't need to go to court. Because I’m Kourt, ha ha, get it? Plus, with my bestie, RFK Jr., now as Secretary of Health and Human Services, we’ll have all the support from court.

The camera reel shows a pre-recorded RFK Jr. video.

RFK JR
(raspy, cacophony voice)

It’s as my ancestor said: 'Ask not what I can do for you, but what you can do for us.'

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EMILY

Oh my God! Did he just misquote President JFK?? Wait, does this product even work??

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NARRATOR
Sure! Especially, when you've seen the results through our two users.

Melissa walks past her bedroom mirror, confidently.

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EMILY
Well, I guess the product works.

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The camera captures the mirror; it is a funhouse mirror.

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EMILY (CONT'D)
Wait - Oh my God! Did you install carnival mirrors throughout her house??

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NARRATOR
We cannot legally say.

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EMILY
Okay, but it has worked on Jen, right? She's been using it daily?

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NARRATOR
Yes, she does and daily posts it to social media.

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They show B-roll of her social media account; Jen is an Instagram model with multiple brand deals and shows previous travels to Columbia, Mexico, Turkey, and South Korea, specifically tagged photos from surgical hospitals.

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EMILY
Oh my God! This is a placebo! Actually, this is worse than a placebo!! You’re scamming the public! I am not going to endorse this product! I can't lose my Master's degree over this, while the mountain of student loans remains!

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KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN

Don't be silly; the capsules help it withstand any weather.

Also, excuse you, but do you think my family scams others?

 

Khloe and Kim Kardashian join Kourtney.

KHLOE KARDASHIAN
Take her to court, Kourt! What, does she think you just pulled this product out of your ass?

KIM KARDASHIAN
Don't be silly; everybody knows Kourtney doesn’t have an ass.

KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN
(crying)
Dammit, Kim! Wait ‘til I tell mom!

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NARRATOR
Lemme, where our motto is: 'Lemme take your money.'

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