EXT. A MAGICAL, INVISIBLE FOREST - EVENING

 

Puck (concerned): Why so glum, young ones?

 

The Red and Blue fairies both sigh in unison.

 

Red Fairy (sadly): These corrupt clowns are still in power.

 

Blue Fairy (angrily): I hate clowns!! Stupid clown Trump! He, his family, greedy staff, and evil billionaires are stealing from the people!!

 

Red Fairy (sighs): Don’t forget that they are still taking out their anger on immigrants and targeting everyone but themselves.

 

Puck (sadly): Don’t forget the KKK rising and lynching minorities once more, the sexism, rape culture, and the disappearing/murdered scientists.

 

The three fairies’ wings droop down. Tears swell in all three’s eyes and drop onto the mushroom that they sit on. A foggy, purple smoke rises, and two, taller figures emerge.

 

Olly (proudly): Welcome one, welcome all!

 

Puck (sighs):  Oh crap! Not him again!

 

Molly (smiling): That’s Olly, my cousin! I’m Molly, and together we make the Jolly Troll group!

 

Red Fairy (confused): Sir Puck, do you know them? (whispering and blushing) Molly is pretty cute; do you think you could -

 

Molly (winks at Red Fairy): I am currently single, but guys are never serious about a baddie like me.

 

Blue Fairy (hyping her up): Girl, their loss!!

 

Molly smiles and then blows a kiss to the fairies. Red Fairy is glowing bright red.

 

Olly (chuckles): Oh, what kind fairies! You know I used to dislike fairies because this one old fairy stole my girl (interrupts himself) Puck.

 

Puck (sighs): Olly.

 

Olly gets greener, and Molly holds him back with one arm.

 

Olly (dramatically): How dare you!! You know she loved me!!

 

Puck (chuckles): Dude, it’s not my fault Tinkerbell got medical insurance and finally went to an ophthalmologist!

 

Olly (more angered): You jerk!! This is why I don’t collaborate with fairies anymore.

 

Molly (sighs): You’re both grown, magical men. Act like it! You’re embarrassing us in front of the children.

 

Red Fairy (clears his throat): I’m actually 25 years old in human years.

 

Molly (gently caresses his chin): Awww, how cute!

 

Red Fairy smiles and faints into the mushroom. Blue Fairy helps out her cousin.

 

Puck: Listen if you’re just here to -

 

Olly (interrupts loudly): We should leave!

 

Molly: Don’t be a big baby! We said we’d help out and help we will!

 

Olly (sighs): True. We did promise Medusa.

 

Blue Fairy turns amazed and accidentally drops her cousin, which helps him wake up.

 

Blue Fairy: You know Medusa?! What is she like?

 

Molly (smiles): She is like a mom figure to us.

 

Olly (relaxed): People stereotyped us as hateful and dumb, but she helped out our community, and many of us have college degrees now!

 

Blue Fairy (intrigued): Ohhh! What are your degrees?

 

Molly (proudly): I have a B.A. in Communications and a Masters in English.

 

All three fairies clap.

 

Red Fairy: What about you, Olly?

 

Olly: Oh, just a B.S. in Mathematics and an MBA.

 

Puck (scoffs): B.S. is right.

 

Olly (angrily): Say it to my face you little punk.

 

Molly and Blue Fairy try to calm each guy down.

 

Molly: Guys, remember we’re here to troll our mutual enemy down not each other.

 

Blue Fairy: Huh, I would’ve thought you’d hate that verb.

 

Olly: Nope! We’ve embraced it, plus our business relies on our skill set.

 

Red Fairy: Business?

 

Molly (proudly): You’re looking at the proud owners of JT Communications.

 

Olly (proudly): At Jolly Troll Communications, we make sure the public sees you and your product for what y’all really are.

 

Puck (genuinely surprised): Oh wow! Congrats!

 

Olly (bashful): You’re just saying that.

 

Puck: No seriously, but have we ever heard of your work?

 

Molly (claps): We did an advert for our cousin!

 

Red Fairy: For Olly?

 

Molly (chuckles): Nope, our other cousins; they’re ashamed of their background and constantly change themselves to distract others.

 

Olly: They’re pretty famous; South Park said she was a hobbit, but that’s not true! She’s one of us, too.

 

Blue Fairy: Oh, that rhymed!

 

Olly takes a bow to a clapping Blue Fairy.

 

Puck: Ohhh! The Kardashians!!!

 

Molly (clapping): Ding ding ding!! Congratulations! You’ve won nothing, though.

 

Olly (sighs): It’s a tragedy that they have money.

 

Molly (cheers him up): For now, yes. But soon, the reckoning will make them pay.

 

Red Fairy: Wait! You did the Lemme GLP-1 Commercial?! I loved that commercial.

 

Olly (proudly): Yup, my little cousin is a genius.

 

Molly gently elbows her cousin. Red Fairy stares lovingly at Molly.

 

Red Fairy (whispering): I love you.

 

Olly: What was that, bro?

 

Red Fairy glows red; Puck and Blue Fairy chuckle.

 

Puck: Do you two ever take anything seriously?

 

Olly: Dude, I handle the math. Of course, we can be serious.

 

Molly: But seriously, with loons in the government, we have to troll to stay sane.

 

Olly: Have you kids ever heard of Rumpelstiltskin?

 

Red Fairy (pouting): I’m not a kid. I’m 125 in magical years.

 

Blue Fairy (raising her hand): Ohh, yes we do! Puck read us his story before our bedtime!

 

Molly (gently smiling): Well, he has a modern relative.

 

All three fairies lean in closer. Molly gently covers Blue Fairy’s tiny ears.

 

Olly (blurts out): Trumpelswalloskin!!

 

Puck (laughing): Or Trumpelstealskin?!

 

Everyone but Blue Fairy bursts out laughing.

 

Red Fairy (laughing): Yeah! Because his skin is the only thing that’s ever been thin!

 

Olly: Aye yooooo!!

 

Molly (corrects): Trumpelsukskin!

 

Puck and Red Fairy burst out laughing.

 

Puck: You mean Trumpel-suk-foreskin.

 

Red Fairy: Four? More like 4 hundred!

 

Olly (joining in): Please! Mofo can deepthroat four million!

 

Molly still covering Blue Fairy’s ears.

 

Molly: Why do you think that male millionaires and billionaires keep him around?

 

Red Fairy (smiling): Aye yo!!

 

Puck: I heard his skills were taught to his three sons!!

 

Olly high-fives Puck. They smile at each other as friends once more.

 

Olly: That’s what gets them down on their knees! Plus, don’t forget the Kushners!

 

Blue Fairy (loudly): No fair! I wanna join!

 

Molly lets go gently and stares at all three guys warningly.

 

Blue Fairy: Is it Trumpelshedskin?

 

Puck: Aye yo!!

 

All four burst out laughing. Red Fairy teasingly ruffles Blue Fairy’s hair.

 

Red Fairy: Where’d you learn that one?

 

Blue Fairy: From the fact that his skin is melting off and leaving him faster than his hair has!

 

Olly (wipes a tear): You know kid, if you ever want a job in the future, let us know. I think you’ll fit right in!

 

Blue Fairy gleams proudly and nods.

 

Puck: Honestly, thanks! We needed to laugh and regain our spirits.

 

Olly: Good! But, the work isn’t over. We still need to unite.

 

Molly: Yup, we actually need some magic and help, for our future ads!

 

Red Fairy: Oh, which ones?

 

Molly: Oh, just some ads, ad hominem style on some crooked politicians.

 

All three fairies nod and look to the future excitedly. Puck and Red Fairy shapeshifter into their human size. Blue Fairy stares shocked.

 

Blue Fairy: We can do that?!

 

Puck: Yup! Once you’re older, you will too! So, we’re ready for our close up!

 

Olly: Now, it’s on!

 

Red Fairy: Til the break of dawn.

 

Everyone heads out with hope. Molly grabs Red Fairy’s sleeve; he turns and now stands taller than her. She smiles, tippy toes, and gives him a kiss on the cheek. He glows bright red.

 

Red Fairy: Ummm - I - you -we

 

Molly (smiling cutely): I look forward to our future.

 

Molly walks ahead, and once Red Fairy recovers, he chases after her. All five head out of the woods to the sunset.

 

BLACKOUT.