INT. A DARK, CREEPY, & LONELY WHITE HOUSE ROOM – DAY.

 

Trump (screaming): No!!! No!!!! NOOOOO!!! Get rid of that ugly thing!!

 

Artist: But, sir, you don’t understand, I – you –

 

Trump throws another Donald Duck tantrum on the floor. J.D. Vance glares at the artist.

 

J.D. Vance: Get out!! You heard him! Take your fugly, failure of a portrait with you!!

 

Artist is shoved around by “athletically challenged” I.C.E. agents. One throws the portrait at her.

 

Artist (winces in pain): Please, sir, I just painted what I saw; this will affect my future career, you have to –

 

Trump: That thing isn’t me!!! Out!!! Dammit out!!!!

 

J.D. Vance: Yes, sir! I’ll see to it myself!! Let’s go, everyone!! Sir, we’ll find the best portrait to showcase how amazing, strong, -

 

Trump slams the door shut after struggling to get up.

 

Trump (sighs sadly): It’s like no one can see my beauty.

 

Voice (laughs): More like everyone sees the beast.

 

Trump looks around at the empty room with fake gold decorations that his kids ordered workers to spray paint.

 

Trump (trying to think): I know that I now have holes in my brain, but is really happening this, or is it dream another?

 

Voice (mockingly): Yeah, it only took you 79 years to discover that your sick, immoral actions have consequences, huh?

 

Trump gets scared and collapses to floor, while looking everywhere at distorted, unrealistic portraits of himself.

 

Trump: Speak!!! Damn you! Where are you?

 

Voice (mockingly): I’m here and there. It doesn’t matter where you go. I’ll always find you, and you’ll always find me.

 

Trump: I not smart, I know. Dammit, QI tests!!

 

Voice (snarkily): Dude, we both know that you’d fail the Are you smarter than a fifth grader? questions, not that you should be allowed near children.

 

Trump throws a tantrum.

 

Trump: Reveal yourself!!!

 

Voice: Oh, so you can only deal with annoyances for a bit, yet look at every crime and injustice you’ve done so far.

 

Trump: Ohhh!!! You’re Jiminy Cricket!

 

Voice: A conscience?!?!!! (bursts out laughing) Bitch, that ship has sailed!!!

 

Trump (furious): Then who and what are you?

 

Voice (calmly): I am that which you cannot alter; the time passed and now I reflect every single sin of yours.

 

Trump (pouting): I don’t get it!!!

 

Voice: I am the embodiment of your hideousness. Come and see me; don’t be a coward and unveil what you try to hide.

 

Trump crawls to the only covered pseudo-gold framework. He pulls the fur blanket off of it and screams.

 

Trump: What a monster!!!

 

Voice (clicking his tongue): Tsk, tsk, tsk. No need to be rude to yourself, now.

 

Trump: What the hell???

 

Voice: No, I can’t go with you to hell! (happily) That’s when the curse finally lifts for me.

 

Trump: But who dared to paint such a hideous thing?!

 

Voice: You did; it’s a tradition, remember?

 

Trump: But you have a pig nose!

 

Voice: For every business scam you’ve done and helped with, like David Ellison and Jared Kushner.

 

Trump: But you have no ears!!

 

Voice: For every time that you refused to listen to good people.

 

Trump: Your skin is peeling and has bumps.

 

Voice: For every sin you committed and because you partnered with Epstein and Maxwell.

 

Trump: You have a huge hole in your chest.

 

Voice: For every immigrant, their family, citizens, and everyone that you’ve hurt.

 

Trump: But your limbs refuse to move good.

 

Voice (correcting): It’s well.

 

Trump (ignorantly): No, it doesn’t seem good.

 

Voice (sighs): For allowing yourself to become a puppet of others, my limbs are barely attached, and this little bit of string keeps me tethered.

 

Trump: What do you want?

 

Voice: Now, now, I no longer want or need anything from you. I just want you to see the me that you created and that everyone else sees -

 

Trump (interrupts): Oh shit!! Junior, is that you?!

 

Voice: Oof, you still don’t get it, do you?

 

Trump: Ohhh!! Baron, right?

 

Voice: So, it really just goes in one ear and –

 

Trump: What’s that other one’s name?!

 

J.D. Vance and Stephen Miller enter the room.

 

J.D. Vance (concerned): Sir, are you – What the hell is that?!

 

Trump: I don’t know! It just kept talking to me! That hideous pig!!

 

J.D. Vance: Sir, what do you mean?! Don’t you mean that blown up, overly stretched out balloon with black eyeliner.

 

Trump: Wait a minute, that sounds like –

 

Stephen Miller screams like a little girl; they both turn to look at him.

 

Stephen Miller: What the fuck?! I didn’t know you guys were a fan of Nosferatu?!

 

J.D. Vance and Trump look at the mirror, back at Miller, and then shrug understandingly.

 

BLACKOUT.

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