It's a beautiful, sunny day in Santorini, Greece. The camera does a scenic shot and then pans into the host, Nikki Glaser.

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NIKKI GLASER

Just when you thought we had cured the world of F-Boys, it turns out, much like Marvel, we can't retire just yet. Welcome to F-Boy Island!

 

The camera pans to the outside of the mansion in Santorini.

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NIKKI GLASER 

(CONT'D) 

Joining me on this adventure are three amazing, lovely ladies, for the chance to find true love and split $100,000. The only catch is there are 24 handsome men and only half are F-Boys.

​

The camera cuts to the beach, then back to Nikki Glaser near the pool, surrounded by the 24 handsome, shirtless men.

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NIKKI GLASER 

(CONT'D) 

Without further ado, presenting our first contestant, Diana Garcia, aged 25; she grew up in Los Angeles, won the Miss California beauty contest at 19, but don't let her looks deceive you; she is also a black belt in Judo and has a PhD in Microbiology.

 

Diana walks out confidently and smiles; some men catcall.

 

DIANA
Hi! It's a pleasure to meet you all!

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NIKKI GLASER
A pleasure to meet you, too! Up next are our two ladies...

The producer makes a gesture to Nikki Glaser.

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NIKKI GLASER

(CONT'D)
I'm sorry; I've been told that they were offended by my choice of words. Up next are the lovely Greek goddesses, Athena and Aphrodite.

​

The camera cuts to the men; some who start rubbing their hands, like flies in anticipation for their next meal. Then it cuts to Diana, who looks as if she's seen death.

​

DIANA
I'm sorry, did you just say goddesses? And, did you just-

One of the oiled up male contestants interrupts Diana.

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DANIEL
Yeah, Nikki didn't stutter, and it's Athena and Aphrodite? You know, the goddess of intelligence and the goddess of love? Haven't -

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NIKKI GLASER 

(Cuts him off)

We didn't need your mansplaining, Daniel. But, yes, Diana, the Greek government gave us a great deal if we let these two ladi- I mean- goddesses as our contestants.

​

Athena and Aphrodite enter; the camera now has an ethereal filter.

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APHRODITE
It's a pleasure to be here. My, what handsome men you've got, Nikki.

​

Six men faint; another catches himself drooling.

 

ATHENA
It isn't a pleasure to be here. After all, I don't like romantic love, and much less believe in true love.

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APHRODITE
Now, Athena, you promised!

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NIKKI GLASER
Ummm, well, here we are! Please feel free to get to know one another and just ignore the cameras.

​

Fifteen men chase after Aphrodite; eight men run after Athena, who disappeared while Nikki Glaser was talking. Diana sits dejectedly near the pool and gazes into the ocean.

​

DIANA
Well, I guess I've already lost.

​

The camera pans to a handsome, young man who shyly walks towards her.

​

MICHAEL

(clears his throat)

Hi, Diana! I just wanted to say how much I admire everything that you've accomplished. Do you mind if I sit next to you?

​

Diana nods, and they begin to talk and then flirt. The camera cuts to Nikki Glaser.

​

NIKKI GLASER
I guess we still have hope for true love.

Athena is in the confession room.

​

ATHENA
Yeah, no. I know everything, and I can assure you, Michael is faking it.

​

Aphrodite is in the confession room.

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APHRODITE
How cute! They're so perfect for each other, and my son probably did the pairing!  He's so great at matchmaking, better than your craps- I mean, apps! Oopsies!

​

Daniel enters the confession room.

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DANIEL
Really, Aphrodite said that? Doesn't she know her son literally ghosted his wife, Psyche?

​

The producer questions Daniel's motivation to Aphrodite.

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DANIEL 

(CONT'D)
Oh! Well, bro, if you had the chance to say that you got to sleep with the goddess of love, wouldn't you?

​

It's the next morning, and everyone is having breakfast. There is an empty seat in the dining room.

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NIKKI GLASER
If anyone has seen Daniel, please let us know. 

 

The men start to whisper.

​

NIKKI GLASER 

(CONT'D)

No cause for alarms, we've had previous times where F-boys, I mean, men have wandered off set! Carry on!

​

Michael is holding Diana's hand; they whisper, flirt, and giggle. The camera pans to Athena watching them, while furiously eating a pancake.

​

ATHENA
(In the confessional)

What? No, I'm not jealous. Do I think Michael is cute; I mean, if you're into a guy who is fit, smart, funny, sweet, respectful, and listens to you, then maybe, you'd find him attractive.

(Sighs and slightly swoons, but quickly recovers)

Huh? No, I don't know a Daniel.

Aphrodite is brought to the confession room by a producer.

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APHRODITE
Didn't I tell you that Diana and Michael are a match made by my son? 

(The producer stares.)

Oh, what? No, I don't remember a Daniel? Funny you should ask me.

​

Everyone is having fun at the beach; Micheal and Diana are building sandcastles, while Athena glares. Aphrodite is surrounded by her fourteen men.

​

NIKKI GLASER
Hey everyone, just want to ask if anyone has seen our producer? No worries, if you haven't!  Also, on a random note, there have been two American bullfrogs found. They're an invasive species, but no worries, they're both male.

 

Everyone turns to Aphrodite, who winks at the camera. 

 

Blackout.

​

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