
FBOY Island Parody: First Dates
This is a parody and has no affiliation to the original show. Previous stories can be accessed through the "Romance Short Stories" tab.
The camera shows a beautiful candlelight dinner surrounded by red roses and the scenic Santorini oceanside. Then, it shows two other candlelight dinners surrounded by red roses and pink roses, but different restaurants. Then, the camera pans to Nikki Glaser.
Nikki Glaser: Wow! Now, even I wish I was going on a date! Well, our contestants have dressed up, saved up their appetites, and are now heading to their locations! Don’t worry, we’ll be there, too!
First, Aphrodite and Gabriel are at their date; they have just arrived.
Gabriel: Wow, Aphrodite, you look amazing!
Aphrodite moves her hair and looks at the camera; the camera suddenly has the ethereal filter on.
Aphrodite: Thank you; you’re so sweet, Gabriel! Don’t worry I know you like Athena, actually. But, I just dressed like always.
Aphrodite is wearing a long, glittery dress that almost looks like a runway dress. Gabriel is dressed in a dashing suit and tie.
Gabriel: Really? Huh, I guess I haven’t noticed your outfits or, in the nicest way possible, you really before. (He slightly winces, afraid.)
Aphrodite (chuckles): Don’t worry, Gab! It’s fine!
Gabriel relaxes and lets out a chuckle, too. Aphrodite looks at the menu.
Aphrodite (cont’d): Besides, I’ve always thought that when you like someone, your eyes just naturally follow that one specific person; sometimes, you even search for that person, even when you know they couldn’t possibly be there.
Gabriel (surprised): Woah! Yeah, that’s happened to me a lot these days. But, how do I know if that’s just because she’s a goddess or if it’s real?
Aphrodite (smiles at him): That’s something for you both to decide!
Gabriel (nervous and blushes): But, what if she rejects me?
Aphrodite (smiles kindly): Life has too many “ifs,” to dwell on the negative; she might say yes! Besides, you’re talking to the goddess of love, Athena may be great in war, but she’s a novice in love. So, here’s the plan, first, you …
The feed changes to Athena and Michael. Athena is dressed in a professional blazer and matching pattern midi skirt; Michael is wearing a fitted, cable-knit cardigan and jeans.
Athena (blushing): You look good, Michael.
Michael (shakes her hand): Thank you, Athena. As do you.
Michael pulls out Athena’s chair, and then he goes around to his chair. The feed then goes to Diana and Eros’s first date. Diana is wearing a cute floral dress and glittery eyeshadow; Eros is wearing a polo shirt and black khaki pants. Eros stares for a bit longer than he had anticipated, blushes, and then helps Diana to her seat.
Eros (ears slightly red): I didn’t think you’d dress up, since Michael isn’t your date tonight.
Diana (slightly blushes): Oh, sorry! It’s just that your mom told me that I should still make the most of my date, even if it wasn’t with him. Plus, I didn’t want to break her heart after she told that she wanted to give me a makeover.
Eros (chuckles): No need to apologize! Yeah, my mom always wanted a daughter.
They both chuckle the first date nerves out.
Diana: Your mom is really great, by the way!
Eros (laughs): Come on, I know she can be a bit much.
Diana: No, really! She’s amazing! She’s really cool and strong!
Eros (chuckles): Yeah, despite all she’s been through, she never fails to see the positivity and humor in life.
Diana: Yes, I heard a bit about her life. How was your childhood like?
Eros begins to open up; the feed goes back to Athena and Michael’s date. Their food has already arrived.
Athena (covering her mouth): So, I have to ask.
Michael grabs the napkin and dabs his mouth.
Athena (cont’d): Why did you go on this show?
Michael: Well, like I told the network, my sister kind of nudged me to enter.
Athena (shakes her head): But, no offense, like how was it that you aren’t already in a committed relationship? Don’t men, like you, end up married by now?
Michael (chuckles): Oh, so you want the long story?
Athena stares attentively and signals with her hand for him to continue; Michael chuckles and places his napkin on his lap.
Michael (clears his throat): Well, it all started with Emma.
Athena (confused): Who’s Emma??!!
Michael (chuckles slightly): She was my childhood friend, well, still is. We grew up together, and our moms used to say that we were practically twins.
Athena: Oh, so you two were like childhood friends turned couple later?
Michael: No, everyone thought that, but we always said that our friendship was more important than that. Although looking back, I was the one who always said that.
Athena nods, understanding his situation somewhat.
Michael (cont’d): We dated other people and had some long and short relationships; then, in our third year of college, Emma met Christopher, my roommate.
Athena stops eating and just stares at Michael.
Athena (flustered): Oh, it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it! I’m sorry!
Michael: No, it’s okay! They’re great together, and they’ll be celebrating their two year anniversary soon. Genuinely, I can say I’m happy for them.
Athena looks down at her plate and moves her food a bit with her fork.
Athena: So, how did you recover from your heartbreak? Didn’t you ever want to break them up?
Michael: When I realized my feelings, it was too late, so I never told her. I did regret it for a while, but eventually I drowned myself in work and my hobbies, so I just became numb, in a way.
Athena: Was that when your sister told you to audition?
Michael: I think my whole family noticed, but yes. She texted me the promotional flyer ad and texted: ‘I think you’ll be a great fit for this.’
Athena is finally making eye contact with Michael again. They both chuckle.
Athena: She’s a woman of many words.
Michael: You know, I laughed about, kept it in the back of my mind, and then one day, I decided to actually read it through.
Athena: And then, you met Diana.
Michael (blushes and clears his throat): Well, more like, I saw her first, and this time I mustered up my courage to greet the girl I was interested in.
Athena: Wow, talk about commitment even when two goddesses were near you.
Michael: Please, don’t take it offensively, but the moment I heard about Diana and saw her; you wouldn’t believe it, but it was like everyone else in the world disappeared.
Athena saddens but musters up a smile when Michael meets her gaze again. The footage goes back to Eros and Diana’s date. Eros has been laughing nonstop, and Diana waves her hands.
Diana: Awww, come on, you don’t have to tease me that much!
Eros (laughs): Well, I just can’t believe that you did that! (He wipes a tear.)
Diana stares at Eros; Eros stares to blush innocently.
Eros: Is there some sauce on my face?
Diana: Nope, I just realized that your eyes are blue-green; they’re really pretty!
Eros (turning bright red and still teasing): You know, Diana, you’re a big flirt!
Diana (blushes): Oh, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable!
Eros (chuckles): No, that’s not it; although I have to ask, after getting to know you on this date, how is it that you’re still single?
Diana (blushes and plays with the napkin): Well, I’m sure you know my dating history, right?
Eros (ponders): Well, there was your high school boyfriend, Dylan, right?
Diana (smiles): Yup! I had forgotten about that relationship; he was such a sweetheart! He’s been doing well!
Eros: I think then afterwards, in college, you briefly dated Felix.
Diana (chuckles): Yup, we wanted different things in life.
Eros (confused): Well, those were the only guys I helped with. I don’t think that I did that terribly; did I?
Diana (chuckles nervously): No, they were great guys; unfortunately, I then went on the dating apps.
Eros (chimes in): You mean dating craps. Sorry, my mom always says it; so, I memorized it.
Diana (chuckles): Yeah, well, that’s when I met –
Eros (interrupts): Voldemort! Crap, I forgot about he, who-must-not-be-named!
Diana chuckles nervously and stares down at her napkin.
Eros (cont’d): I’m so sorry! I forgot about that jerk. I promise I didn’t help with that connection!
Diana meets his worried gaze and breaks a reassuring smile.
Diana: Don’t worry; I never thought that he was. (chuckles) But, Voldemort is a great nickname!
Eros: After what he said and did, I’m glad you were able to break up with him and finally heal.
Diana (lets a tear fall): Thanks!
Eros (voice cracks): No, seriously! He was beyond disturbed and it’s just frustrating –
Diana reaches to grab Eros’s hand, and he holds her hand gently.
Diana (reassuringly): It’s okay now. I’m okay now.
Eros smiles at her sadly.
Eros: I’m sorry; I forgot.
Diana: Don’t worry, like you said, I’ve healed now. Thanks to my family and amazing therapist!
Eros (sadly but trying to lighten the mood): So, Michael?
Diana (smiles instantly): You know, it’s the funniest thing. We can talk for hours and also sit in silence.
Eros chuckles and feels more lighthearted. Diana smiles genuinely now.
Diana (cont’d): He does this super cute thing where he’ll sometimes stare and as soon as I catch his gaze, he’ll avert his eyes and then look at me and smile the cutest smile that I’ve ever seen. It’s like my battery charges up and overflows with happiness.
Eros (chuckles): He’s a lucky guy.
Diana: I’m lucky, too!
The dates wrap up. The footage of Eros’s confession room plays, then Athena’s confession room footage also plays.
Eros: Yeah, Diana’s a really amazing person.
Athena: I never really met a mortal quite like him, you know?
The footage of Eros and Athena plays simultaneously on a split screen.
Eros & Athena (in unison): Oh, crap. I think I’m in love with a mortal.
BLACKOUT.